


Toxic

by RainCloud10



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Unrequited Crush, angst with open ending, hurt comfort, thats pretty much all they talk about though, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 04:58:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17217446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainCloud10/pseuds/RainCloud10
Summary: Love hurts. That is the only truth Kenma knows. The only thing he truly fears.Thank you Astrid for beta'ing! <3





	Toxic

Kenma can’t breathe, his heart has surely stopped and now he can't breathe. Those words echoed through his head.  
                                                                      _“I love you”_  
His best friend. His own best friend had said those words to him. The same best friend standing in front of him now, waiting for a response.  
“Kenma, a-“  
“please…” Kenma cuts him off in a small voice.  
“Kenma?”  
Kenma starts to tear up, and get angry. “No.”  
Kuroo looks startled. “N-no?”  
“NO.” Kenma snaps his head up.  
“You can't possibly love me! I...love like that isn’t real.” His lips form a thin line on his face, brows furrowed.  
“W-what? Love is real Kenma. I know because I can feel it. I feel it for you." Kuroo tries to step closer but Kenma holds out a hand to stop him.  
“E-Enough!” he shouts. “You’ve always been too kind to me,” he says in a quieter voice.  
“Please, Kenma. Tell me what this is about. If you don’t feel that same it’s okay.”  
“It’s all fake. It’s not real, it’s a chemical. You should know— you love science. I’m not gonna let a chemical in your brain dictate if you’re gonna hurt me or not.”  
Kuroo takes a step back confused. “What are you talking about? Why would I hurt you? Why is me loving you platonically different than romantically?”  
“It just is,” Kenma mumbles and turns away. “You love me platonically. You’ve got it all wrong.” Kuroo huffs and places a hand on Kenma’s shoulder. “I know in my heart that what I feel are romantic feelings. I want to be with you, as more than best friends. I, I can’t really explain it but it’s real, Kenma.” Kenma whirls on him.  
“Tell me one good reason why I should believe that real, romantic love, exists! All my life I have know love to hurt. Love is an excuse. It’s an apology. Saying ‘I love you’ is a way to keep yourself safe. To keep someone from hurting you. And even then they still do! Love is a mask. You amp it up so the person you’re with doesn’t get mad. It’s fake and I don’t believe in it.” At this point he breaks off and sobs loudly.  
  
“I-I don’t want you to love me. I don’t want to get hurt...” Kuroo rushes to him and starts to inspect him.  
“Geez, Kenma. Is there something going on at home? How long has this been going on, why didn’t you tell me?” He whispers looking into Kenma’s eyes. Kenma shakes his head, pushing away a little, Kuroo keeping his grip in him.  
  
“It’s fine,” Kenma sniffles and wipes his face on is jacket sleeve. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I don’t want to keep money hidden from you in case I have to run away. I don’t want to have to think about how to protect myself, or use my body to get you to be nice.” Kenma mumbles into his sleeve, tears still flowing.  
“Gods, Kenma...” Kuroo pulls in the shorter male. “I’m not gonna force you into anything I promise. Being here for you as your friend is more important to me than being your boyfriend. But you gotta tell me stuff like this. Before anything, you’re my best friend.”  
  
Kenma shudders nodding and snakes his arms around kuroo. They stay like that until Auntie calls them down for dinner, and they make quick work of cleaning up Kenma’s face. He can’t help but feel grateful for his best friend, who’s stayed with him in his most withdrawn years. It doesn’t take long for his face to return to its normal color, and his eyes to dry. Then, they both head downstairs, and carry on, just as Kenma had done alone, now two. Kenma knows he can’t really put off Kuroo’s confession for long. It’d just make things hard between them. But not now. Right now, he needs just what Kuroo said. He needs his best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for projecting on you Kenma


End file.
